Sadness

Do you guys ever those moments, while you just minding your own business, happily kept to yourself/hanging out with yer friends, or just about to fell asleep when suddenly you could feel your fingers turns ice,your mind started racing and there's this aching feeling inside your heart.

 if no then move along, if you have experienced it...well look's like we're in the same boat.

i don't really know what to call it actually,panic attack? i just consider it as one of those "episodes" .  Episode-s. Yeah, i've been experiencing for a few times actually raging from six-eight months back? 

This episodes  just come randomly,with any hint at all, it could strike at anytime,locations and any mood i am in. as i already stated before, the symptoms include ice fingers/hands, irrational thinking(i get down and think worst.....such as suicide...it's that bad), aching pain inside your heart which makes it unbearable and your mind is goes into that mental state where everything bad is caused by you and the upcoming events in your life will be worse.

This post is written to............... i don't even know what it's for, maybe a cry for help? maybe nothing, or maybe letting the world know that i'm sick in the head, or whatever. 

I'm back

Hey guys, how is it going? it's been quite some time since i last posted anything in this blog, due to....i don't really what to call it... maybe life? hahaha, Many things have been happening around me and inside of myself too. You must be surprised to see me post, but hey, life is all about surprises right?

I'm actually quite good and things have been turning for the better in my life. let's see, there's a downward spiral in my life, during my SPM results i think, which is two years ago, and there's been up and down since that, long story short, i am now in Uitm Seri Iskandar, Perak, taking Graphic and i am in my 3rd semester now. haha


anyway, if you guys wanted to know more, just let me know, i'll update soon.

Kids

Kids nowadays are somehow genetically modified to cry and cursed at the slight event that di1dn't favour them in games. If these lit
tle thingscould have crushed them, how will they fare in the unexpected events in life? It's our fault? for spoiling them? Or maybe it's due to the current time, where they felt comfortable with everything handed to them? And to think they will become leaders in the future.

Death from my point of view.

Death is certain for every living being.Some may saw it as the end of one journey,hile others as myself see it as a sign from the higher power to change their live . it's odd, one moment, your families grieves over the death of their family members, and the next, the continued they life like nothing happened. It did, but they had to go back to their lives wether they want it or not. We humans  are known to adapt to survives so we just had continued with our lifemand soon those deaths that hadhappened arounds us are kept away in the farthest corners of our memories which waiting to be remembered again as it consumed by time and slowly but surely became a faint memory and thus forgotten untill we experience it ourselves.

Mixed feelings

Lately, i have this mixed feelings towards my crush. Some days i just can't forget about her, and the feeling of this emptiness in my heart, while the other days,i just couldn't care less about her.  i guess this's what happened with all my ex-crushes. One day i just can't stopthinking 'bout them and the next was nothing, as i don't find you attractive anymore.

Maybe it's because i haven't seen her in a while and my brain needed to refresh back what's like to fall head over heels towards her, again. Or maybe this is from The Almighty Himself showing me my true feelins or another test of Him. Who knew??
Anyway i've been thinking these past few days, maybe i just dont found anything attractive about her anymore, andsome how really, truly understand the song MCR -I Don't Love You really meant.

Maybe i just need a break from the city and it's time for fresh air, that's why i'm going back to my grandma house (like i have a choice) and enjoyed a more simple life, and no more chores. Maybe that's my body needs, a break.

ok, thanks for reading. hope i don't bore you to death with my ongoing writting and all.

That awkward moment when ........

when your whole family knew your crush's name. Oh God, Why??


the other day, my brother's phone somehow broke, and since i have 2 phones, n70(hotlink) and X3(digi),i decidedto lent him my n70 because i rarely used it. guess what?? the next day i forgot that i set an alarm for reminded the time to sent a message to my crysh to wish her for her birthday.  he saw it and started to tell on my mom. it's so embarassing when my mom found out.


i just kept calm and remained pokerface for the next week and deny,deny,deny when she asked me who (insert name here) is.

i'm back

hey guys, guess who's back? Me!!! it's good to have the luxury of being able to online again, thanks to mymom for buying a tab for the whole family. Alhamdullillah~ thanks mom!!

okay, for the past 2 years, i have grown a lot thanks to the bittersweetmoments in my life, but without the emotional roller coaster that every single one of us had to endure sooner or later, it make me more mature somehow. maybe that's life, all of us had to grow up one way or another. kay, herei again ranting bout it.

anyway it'sgood to be back. do expect me to frequently update this blog. oh yeah, i would like to apologise for my broken engrish, Xp not all of us asians are blessed with good vocabularies.